One year ago on this night I first saw his face.
It was one of those moments where the whole world goes silent. I saw his sweet, precious, little face and whispered to my God, "Is this my son?"
365 days I've been chasing him. It seems impossible that a year has passed on this journey. Impossible that I'm praying the same prayers as I again watch a thousand tree canopies catch fire in hues of orange and red. Impossible that I've crunched both leaves and snow underfoot while waiting. Impossible that my impassioned pleas which bloomed with the spring flowers are still open in expectation while the daffodils and the blossoms have long, long since faded away. It seems impossible that the heat of the summer is behind us, but my son's homecoming still lies too far ahead.
Just I whispered 365 days ago, I hear a voice whispering back to me. It whispers faith. It whispers Let not the passing of time, the falling of the leaves, the setting of the sun, the freezing winter air, the thawing of the ground, the green buds long open, long lived, now dying- let not these thing stand as a reminder of your long-suffered prayer. Let them stand as a reminder of my faithfulness. See how I have sustained you.
Tonight as I pray the same prayers I have prayed for 365 days and as I navigate the praise and the petitions in my heart, I turn to an old, familiar song. I first heard this song in a high school assembly. Surrounded by peers, sitting on the bleachers of my high school gym I remember watching three friends put on while gloves and sign the lyrics to this poignant song. Meaningful at the time, it has become even more so as years go by and so many seasons change.
See how I have sustained you.
xo
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| The very first picture. |
365 days I've been chasing him. It seems impossible that a year has passed on this journey. Impossible that I'm praying the same prayers as I again watch a thousand tree canopies catch fire in hues of orange and red. Impossible that I've crunched both leaves and snow underfoot while waiting. Impossible that my impassioned pleas which bloomed with the spring flowers are still open in expectation while the daffodils and the blossoms have long, long since faded away. It seems impossible that the heat of the summer is behind us, but my son's homecoming still lies too far ahead.
Just I whispered 365 days ago, I hear a voice whispering back to me. It whispers faith. It whispers Let not the passing of time, the falling of the leaves, the setting of the sun, the freezing winter air, the thawing of the ground, the green buds long open, long lived, now dying- let not these thing stand as a reminder of your long-suffered prayer. Let them stand as a reminder of my faithfulness. See how I have sustained you.
Tonight as I pray the same prayers I have prayed for 365 days and as I navigate the praise and the petitions in my heart, I turn to an old, familiar song. I first heard this song in a high school assembly. Surrounded by peers, sitting on the bleachers of my high school gym I remember watching three friends put on while gloves and sign the lyrics to this poignant song. Meaningful at the time, it has become even more so as years go by and so many seasons change.
See how I have sustained you.
xo
I came across your blog a few days ago, and as I read this post, my eyes filled with tears. Partly because I was thinking of the song Every Season before you mentioned it, and partly because waiting is so so hard.
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I adopted from Russia in February...feel free to ask any questions, or just vent. It's a hard journey - but you are right...God is there - in EVERY season of it.
Blessings to you!
Jessi
Jessi thank you so much for commenting and congratulations on your adoption! I checked out your blog and it was wonderful to see a little bit into your family's life. I love your commitment to radical living and I hope your new living situation is a blessing to you as you pay off your debt. You are inspiring! Questions- maybe you can message me on my FB page (link below my picture on the upper left of this page), but any info about your court session (what did they ask? what was it like?) and flight home (advice??) would be great! Thank you!
DeleteYou'll be over there so soon! I'm getting so excited for you :)
ReplyDelete