To gain a soul

Photo via flickr ©Sophia.Maria

Living with unanswered prayer is a hard thing.  Sometimes it feels like it will break you. When it feels like it's nearly breaking me, I turn to the ultimates again.  On that subject, a poem:

On "unanswered" prayer 
and forfeiting the world 
to gain a soul

I once heard about a man 
whose carpet was worn 
in two spots beside a window

Two bare spots
from hours
and days
and months
and years-
a lifetime
on his knees.

There are no bare spots on the floor of my house
but tell me-
do You see
how I'm wearing
a spot on my soul? 

I kneel there
and night
in prayer and petition,
longing and expecting
for You to respond.

You do not answer 
in the way that I wish
Your silence 
begins to exhaust my plea
I want to know when 
and how and why
but instead of those answers, 

Take heart
and loose the world 
for already have You overcome 
and this, You say,
this is how I gain my soul.

That spot on my soul- 
is not growing bare, 
like carpet under knees-
the wearing tearing under prayers
becoming not thin but deep

Now, from there I cry-
hope renewed-
The depth of me
to the depth of You. 


"In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” - John 16:33

"What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?" - Mark 8:36

"Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers have swept over me. " Palm 42:7 


  1. Thank you so much! I found your blog through a long time friend...or divine intervention...I should say. I am in the middle of a long adoption process from China. It seems never ending...but the reward at the end is worth every second. This post really spoke to me today...especially after taking a WHOLE day off of work just to do paperwork and tie up loose ends...only to feel like I am spinning my wheels and continue to go nowhere! I know that God has a plan for me and my family...but the "why" question...why have you chosen me for this...this route to motherhood...continues to pop up from time-to-time. I had a long talk with God today...and this post was apparently the answer I got today. I am just glad other people (like you) understand and have paved a path for me when I feel lost amongst the paperwork and phone calls! God Bless and thanks!

    1. Julie congratulations on you adoption journey! I'm so excited for you. I totally know what you mean about how it seems never ending. Thanking God for using my story to encourage you! Thank you for leaving a comment and blessings to you as you make your way to your child! I hope your little one is home VERY soon!


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