How far along? 29 weeks yesterday.
Weight gain: Holding steady at 174lbs. Same as last week. Total gain: 35lbs.
How are you feeling: Emotionally I still feel great. I'm thrilled to have made it to the third trimester without incident!
The weather has warmed up this week bringing signs of spring. The first green spikes of the crocuses have pierced through the soil and I'm expecting to see their purple faces any day now. Yesterday John told me, "Today I heard a flock of geese and I thought, 'They're back!'" Spring has sprung! I'm expecting our babies will come right around the time the tulips are in bloom so these first signs of spring make those days feel very near!
Physically I continue to become more and more tired as the weeks pass by. Yesterday the sun was shining and the air was warm so I thought I'd open all the windows and get some spring cleaning done.
I got as far as opening the windows before I was gasping like I just ran a 5K.
Good grief.
Someone asked me what kind of prenatal exercise I am doing. My answer includes things like: standing up from a seated position and rolling over in bed.
Not even kidding.
On Monday I took Arie with me to car vacuum place so we could spring clean our van. His job was to vacuum up all the road salt and crumbs in the back of the van since I can't quite reach with my belly in the way. He had just finished wiping the interior with Armor All wipes which were in a pile on the back seat.
"Careful not to vacuum those up," I cautioned.
After a few minutes of gleeful vacuuming (Arie thinks vacuuming is great fun) I heard him yelling over the suction noise, "MOM!! I-I-I.... sucked one up!"
Thinking he meant an old wipe, I said, "No big deal. Just finish up."
He finished, we cleaned the windows, threw out the trash, and went on our merry way. At home I helped him out of the van with his backpack, hat, and mittens. When I could only find one mitten I asked him, "Where's the other one?"
He looked at me with a confused I-already-told-you expression, "In the vacuum."
Apparently the "one" he was referring to was not an old wipe, after all.
Blerg. Mitten lost forever. Casualty of not being able to fit into the back of the van anymore!
Noteworthy moments: Nothing too big this week, but we did receive the second crib for our nursery (yet to be assembled) and one of our carseats as gifts. We purchased the second carseat and what I've heard is a twin-mama "must have," the "My Brest Friend Twin Plus Nursing Pillow." I now feel like we have all the essentials for our babies!
Get a little spiritual: At my last appointment I asked my OB about the usefulness of writing a birth plan. There are a few things I would like to do differently than standard protocol but I'm also aware that "standard protocols" are in place for a reason. I went through my list and at the end my OB said, "Write your birth plan. You are a reasonable person." She went on to laugh and tell me about some of the weird birth plan experiences she had endured such as listening to the same Enya song for three hours because the parents *really* wanted it to be playing when the baby crowned. "I didn't say anything but I think we all hated that song by the end." Ha!
There's a phenomenon in birth right now of women wanting the *perfect* birth experience. I know I certainly have an idea in my mind of how I would like my birth to go. I think it is mostly good for women to plan for their births, but of course planning for perfection in any area of life can lead to enormous disappointment and feelings of failure. One common mantra I hear repeated in the "birth world" that always bothers me is, "Trust your body."
For Christians, I think this idea that we should trust our bodies is particularly flawed because we believe that while our bodies are good and holy and created by God, we also believe that they were impacted by the Fall. Our bodies are not immune to disease and failure. Our bodies give us all sorts of good gifts like the ability to take pleasure in food, the exhilaration of exercise and activity, and the joy of growing a child inside. But our bodies also fail. We get stomach bugs, we break bones and sprain ankles, we are diagnosed with diseases, and, more often then we'd probably like to admit, we suffer complications from childbirth.
I don't trust my body.
I am grateful for my body.
I am often amazed by my body.
I respect my body.
But I don't trust my body.
In this pregnancy and as I look forward to the birth of my twins, "Trust your body" will not be part of my birth plan. I certainly hope with great hope that my body responds well to the birth and brings my babies smoothly into the world. But my trust is not in my body. My trust is in the LORD.
Whether I am granted the smooth and complication-free delivery I hope for or whether my birth ends up being the opposite, I will take comfort in knowing that my trust is held in a worthy place: the hands of my Savior. He alone is trustworthy and true.
"Those who trust in the LORD are like Mount Zion, which cannot be shaken but endures forever." - Psalm 125:1
I can trust that the Holy Spirit will be with me to comfort me through each contraction and provide each needed breath. He is in each heartbeat: mine and each of my boys. He will never leave my side whether my body works or fails, whether I am strong or tired, whether I am happy or sad. He will be on the lips of my babies as they utter their first hungry cries and in the tears of my and John's joyful eyes. Whether my babies are born vaginally or via c-section, God will be faithful as he always has been. That is where my trust will be.
Bump Shot:
xo
Weight gain: Holding steady at 174lbs. Same as last week. Total gain: 35lbs.
How are you feeling: Emotionally I still feel great. I'm thrilled to have made it to the third trimester without incident!
The weather has warmed up this week bringing signs of spring. The first green spikes of the crocuses have pierced through the soil and I'm expecting to see their purple faces any day now. Yesterday John told me, "Today I heard a flock of geese and I thought, 'They're back!'" Spring has sprung! I'm expecting our babies will come right around the time the tulips are in bloom so these first signs of spring make those days feel very near!
Physically I continue to become more and more tired as the weeks pass by. Yesterday the sun was shining and the air was warm so I thought I'd open all the windows and get some spring cleaning done.
I got as far as opening the windows before I was gasping like I just ran a 5K.
Good grief.
Someone asked me what kind of prenatal exercise I am doing. My answer includes things like: standing up from a seated position and rolling over in bed.
Not even kidding.
On Monday I took Arie with me to car vacuum place so we could spring clean our van. His job was to vacuum up all the road salt and crumbs in the back of the van since I can't quite reach with my belly in the way. He had just finished wiping the interior with Armor All wipes which were in a pile on the back seat.
"Careful not to vacuum those up," I cautioned.
After a few minutes of gleeful vacuuming (Arie thinks vacuuming is great fun) I heard him yelling over the suction noise, "MOM!! I-I-I.... sucked one up!"
Thinking he meant an old wipe, I said, "No big deal. Just finish up."
He finished, we cleaned the windows, threw out the trash, and went on our merry way. At home I helped him out of the van with his backpack, hat, and mittens. When I could only find one mitten I asked him, "Where's the other one?"
He looked at me with a confused I-already-told-you expression, "In the vacuum."
Apparently the "one" he was referring to was not an old wipe, after all.
Blerg. Mitten lost forever. Casualty of not being able to fit into the back of the van anymore!
Noteworthy moments: Nothing too big this week, but we did receive the second crib for our nursery (yet to be assembled) and one of our carseats as gifts. We purchased the second carseat and what I've heard is a twin-mama "must have," the "My Brest Friend Twin Plus Nursing Pillow." I now feel like we have all the essentials for our babies!
Get a little spiritual: At my last appointment I asked my OB about the usefulness of writing a birth plan. There are a few things I would like to do differently than standard protocol but I'm also aware that "standard protocols" are in place for a reason. I went through my list and at the end my OB said, "Write your birth plan. You are a reasonable person." She went on to laugh and tell me about some of the weird birth plan experiences she had endured such as listening to the same Enya song for three hours because the parents *really* wanted it to be playing when the baby crowned. "I didn't say anything but I think we all hated that song by the end." Ha!
There's a phenomenon in birth right now of women wanting the *perfect* birth experience. I know I certainly have an idea in my mind of how I would like my birth to go. I think it is mostly good for women to plan for their births, but of course planning for perfection in any area of life can lead to enormous disappointment and feelings of failure. One common mantra I hear repeated in the "birth world" that always bothers me is, "Trust your body."
For Christians, I think this idea that we should trust our bodies is particularly flawed because we believe that while our bodies are good and holy and created by God, we also believe that they were impacted by the Fall. Our bodies are not immune to disease and failure. Our bodies give us all sorts of good gifts like the ability to take pleasure in food, the exhilaration of exercise and activity, and the joy of growing a child inside. But our bodies also fail. We get stomach bugs, we break bones and sprain ankles, we are diagnosed with diseases, and, more often then we'd probably like to admit, we suffer complications from childbirth.
I don't trust my body.
I am grateful for my body.
I am often amazed by my body.
I respect my body.
But I don't trust my body.
In this pregnancy and as I look forward to the birth of my twins, "Trust your body" will not be part of my birth plan. I certainly hope with great hope that my body responds well to the birth and brings my babies smoothly into the world. But my trust is not in my body. My trust is in the LORD.
Whether I am granted the smooth and complication-free delivery I hope for or whether my birth ends up being the opposite, I will take comfort in knowing that my trust is held in a worthy place: the hands of my Savior. He alone is trustworthy and true.
"Those who trust in the LORD are like Mount Zion, which cannot be shaken but endures forever." - Psalm 125:1
I can trust that the Holy Spirit will be with me to comfort me through each contraction and provide each needed breath. He is in each heartbeat: mine and each of my boys. He will never leave my side whether my body works or fails, whether I am strong or tired, whether I am happy or sad. He will be on the lips of my babies as they utter their first hungry cries and in the tears of my and John's joyful eyes. Whether my babies are born vaginally or via c-section, God will be faithful as he always has been. That is where my trust will be.
Bump Shot:
xo
This post gave me an epiphany about a struggle I had with my daughter's birth. My husband and I took Bradley Natural Childbirth classes while I was pregnant, and while I DO think the classes were incredibly helpful, the overall theme was VERY focused on "Your body is completely capable of doing this without ANY intervention and don't let anyone tell you otherwise." I ended up having a very, very long, difficult labor and after praying with our doctor, we decided that I would have a epidural to get some rest and relief. For a while I felt really confused and frustrated, wondering if I had betrayed my body's natural ability to give birth. Eventually I came to terms with the fact that God's plan for my labor and my baby's birth was different, but ultimately better, than what I had so stubbornly planned and hoped for. You're so right - God created our bodies to be good and beautiful, but our trust must rest in Him. Thank you for such a beautifully written reminder! :o)
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your epiphany Mary! It is helpful for me to hear stories like yours as I prepare for the birth of my sons. God's ways are mysterious to us but we can trust him fully, even when things don't turn out like we had hoped.
DeleteI agree about the "trust your body" thing! My first labor my body knew what to do, my water broke, and the contractions and dilation soon followed. My second, my water broke just like the first time, but NO labor started. For hours. zilch, nothing. Would have had a c section if not for Pitocin. Yes the pit made it much more painful but she's here now and healthy. I definitely don't trust my body haha! And I have always thought wanting the "perfect birth" was a little weird. The Bible is pretty clear that labor in its current painful form is a result of sin. So to me, its just something to get through to get to the baby! lol! -Anna
ReplyDeleteAnna your comment made me smile. My sister just told me something her friend had exclaimed in a conversation about whether or not they would like to get epidurals when they birth someday: "I mean," she said, "It's literally a curse from GOD. I'm getting the epidural." Hahah that made me laugh! I'm so glad you have your healthy children!
DeleteYou articulated so clearly my feelings on having the 'perfect birth and trusting our bodies'. I love the theology behind your reasoning. I think you have a great perspective and it'll truly help with your birth! Our bodies ARE amazing, and good and strong, yet complications can happen and if they do, it's NOT because you are a failure or weak. Sadly, the Fall affected the perfect birth. I had a natural birth with all three, but even with those I still needed medical interventions--still not completely ''natural'! And that's okay. You are wise to lean into the Holy Spirit to carry you through--I hope it's a blessed, safe birth when it happens!
ReplyDeleteThank you for your thoughtful comment Victoria!
DeleteI think if your birth plan is something like I want the rainbow to encircle myself and the baby... well go live with the fairies...!
ReplyDeleteMy birth plan included things like: "Do not offer me pain relief, I will ask if I want it! In the case of a non traumatic csection, we want the baby to have skin to skin with daddy..." I wrote in my birth plan that we were refusing the hep b vaccination.. I did write that we were refusing the vit K shot but when baby was born and there was a serious concern of bleeding on the brain I yelled out to give it to him. There are standard procedures which you may like to research and refuse consent to if you prefer.
Yes the variety of possible interventions are basically what my birth plan is about. I think researching and understanding them is important! Thank for your comment.
DeleteIt sounds like you have a wonderful OB! And lol about that Enya story. I cringe!
ReplyDeleteYes she is great! (And I cringed too! ha!)
DeleteWow, you are getting so close! Thanks for sharing your joy! And the mitten story....
ReplyDeleteRachel
Thanks Rachel!
DeleteI struggled with wanting to birth MY way. I prepared very well for an ideal birth and wrote down a reasonable, yet specific birth plan. When so many parts of my birth plan had to be ignored during my difficult labor, I felt disappointed. After my son was born, I had to laugh at my disappointment- despite having pitocin and other interventions that I was so worried about, my son came out beautiful and ready to bond. I wish I didn't stress so much about my birthing experience, because it was all pretty much forgotten once I had my son.
ReplyDelete