Twin pregnancy: week 17 in review

How far along? 18 weeks, 1 day.

Weight gain? Up to 155lbs. Gained 2 pounds this week. Total gain: 17 pounds. My belly looks so much bigger this week. I think the twins had a growth spurt!

How are you feeling? Awesome. My nausea is only very slightly present and I'm not too tired anymore. I'm thrilled to be enjoying the holidays feeling healthy again!

Noteworthy moments: My bump is now officially big enough that strangers look at it when they see me. Sort of an "eye contact, bump glance, eye contact" move. No one has been bold enough to actually ask if I'm pregnant (which is probably good manners), but I've had a number of people strike up conversations about having children to give me an "opening" to share that I'm expecting.

As I've been seeing friends over the holidays they are all reaching out and rubbing my belly. I know some pregnant women don't like to be touched, but not me. I probably would feel weird if it was a  stranger, but for friends: touch away! I've waited so long for this. Each touch of my belly is a tiny celebration of many answered prayers.

Get a little spiritual: Last summer I wrote a post called "Living in a pit with a heavenly view" in which I likened the experience of infertility to being stuck in a big hole in the ground. I wrote about my efforts to keep my eyes focused upward on the heavens, even as I wept in the pit. It still makes me cringe to remember.

Now that I have passed the first trimester fear of miscarriage and the consuming fatigue and nausea of the last few months, the joy of my freedom from infertility is truly making itself known. I am out of the pit! I am walking above ground! I can feel the sun! I am free to go wherever I please. My heavy heart is light again. My sadness has lifted. I feel free! 

Years ago I heard a sermon about the new earth in which the pastor described the special joys those who have lived with loss will feel. The blind will see! We will all see, of course, but the blind will have a special joy in seeing. The lame will walk! We will all walk, but the lame will have a joy we will not know when their feet finally touch the ground. Today I feel as though I am experiencing a small picture of that joy: while millions of women have a child growing inside them today, I have a special kind of joy because of the pain I once felt. Not only do I get to know the joy of pregnancy, I get to know the joy of being freed from infertility. I thank God for this gift.

The freedom I now I claim has not only freed me from something, but also for something. The energy that was once drained from me in grief is now mine to direct in a multitude of ways. Currently I am working with a refugee ministry through my church. I never would have had the emotional reserves to commit to a ministry like this when I was submerged in the dark pit of infertility. Now I am free to serve others as I draw from the well of joy I have overflowing from the gift of answered prayers.

This is truly a blessed season of my life and I am grateful!

Bump shot: 



  1. I CANNOT WAIT to rub that double baby belly on Monday (now that I know you welcome it!)

  2. I CANNOT WAIT to rub that double baby belly on Monday (now that I know you welcome it!)

  3. Melanie Drozd12/23/2015

    Well said!! I couldn't have said it better myself. After almost 3 years of infertility being 18w 1d I too feel so blessed to be carrying twin boys and no longer feel the suffocation of infertility. Free! Perfectly said.

    1. :-D Love that you are feeling the freedom too!

  4. Cute baby bump!!!!!!!

  5. You look wonderful! It must be fantastic to feel less nausea, especially with Christmas coming up (SO FAST). Merry Christmas and congratulations, again!


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