Thoughts before preschool

Arie's hand feels big in mine lately. His whole body is growing, of course, but it's the feel of his hot little fingers and palm in mine that I notice the most. It used to be a baby hand, small, soft, and mostly limp in mine. Passive.

Now, when he reaches up for comfort in a shy moment or safety before a busy street, I notice how much farther into the space between my thumb and pointer his fingers reach. He hold tight, mostly. A firm grasp, a preview into the handshake he'll one day extend to others as a man. He also wiggles and squirms, pulling away from my grasp when he wants to explore. More and more I am letting go: learning to trust, push boundaries... and hope to God he doesn't knock over that mountainous display of wine bottles at the grocery store.

He is growing socially, too. I remember last summer watching him on the playground as other kids would run up to play. "You wanna play?" They'd ask. He would stare blankly in return, then his eyes would dart me, anxious for rescue. Last weekend my sister got married and we spent time with her new extended family setting up for the wedding. In contrast, immediately upon meeting a new little cousin, Arie's eyes little up and he grabbed the boy's hand and exclaiming, "LET'S RUN!"
Family picture at my sister's wedding last weekend.
In two weeks he starts preschool. He's excited. He's ready. I can't wait to see how he'll grow! New friends, new experiences, new knowledge. Lately he's been absolutely ravenous to learn; asking questions, doing projects, celebrating victories like learning to write his name.

This week I rearranged his playroom to make a reading corner with low shelves, a lamp, and new chairs. A small change in our home to symbolize our first steps into a new leg of our parenting journey: school. I feel a heightened sense of awareness that these next few years will greatly shape how Arie feels about learning: will be it exciting? Fun? Boring? Frustrating? I deeply hope to nurture his sense of curiosity and wonder.  People often remark to me how imaginative he is and John and I want to keep that spirit alive in him! We want him to claim his capabilities, to widen his sense of wonder and to take pleasure in learning.

Today he will learn with hands in the sandpit and finger paints, but I know how soon those hands will grow to grasp a microscope in science class or gesture widely on the drama stage or etch slowly with pencil on a math page.

For certain, we will have our schooling ups and downs, but for now I take joy in the possibility set before us. In two weeks I will take his little hand in mine, walk through those preschool doors and excitedly begin.



  1. Can you believe how quickly preschool has come? I know they wont be in the same class but seeing your family at events will make this whole experience that much better :)

    1. No I can't believe it!! Especially since he hasn't even been home for 2 years yet. Crazy fast. I am looking forward to seeing you guys at events too!


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