Infertility: pain, shame, and isolation

Today I'm linking you up to a guest post I wrote for our local branch of Bethany Christian Services' blog. John and I didn't use Bethany for our adoption, but we have friends who did so I knew them as an adoption agency. Turns out: they are so much more! Among their many services is a counseling branch, ready to wrap arms around those who are healing and in search of help. I met the clinical director of our local branch through our church and she asked if I would write about infertility for them; a topic that's often stored up in the dark places of our hearts and needs desperately to be brought out into the light. So today I'm doing just that: bringing my story of infertility out into the light for you all to see. 

*

Hi. My name is Jillian and I am infertile.

Nice to meet you.

I’m sure you can probably guess that I’m more than just infertile and you’re right: I’m a wife, a Russian adoptive mom, a blogger, a pastor’s spouse, and a Christian among other things. Being infertile is not all of who I am, but I have to be honest with you: it’s a big part of my story and it has greatly shaped the person I am today.

When I was young I loved to watch that TLC show “A Baby Story.” Every once and a while they would feature an adoptive couple; in the get-to-know-you interview part of the show, the adoptive mom would say something like, “We tried to get pregnant and it didn’t happen so we decided to adopt!” Her infertility glossed over in a brief sentence; the tiniest little gray cloud with the brightest of silver linings. As an adoptive mom I can say that absolutely yes my infertility brought me to one of the greatest joys in my life: my precious son. But I can also say that infertility has wrecked me, bringing me the greatest pain and the deepest wounds I have ever known….

Continue reading over at the Bethany blog.