4/8/14

Femara cycle #3 results

Another failed cycle. Not pregnant.

We are starting our fourth and final Femara cycle this month and have decided to add an IUI as well to increase our chances, even if only marginally.

I would really appreciate your prayers over the next few weeks for me and for John. We have a consult with Dr. Colbert at the end of the month to talk about next steps (if this last cycle doesn't work). Based on our last consult and some conversations I've had with his nurses in the past few days, it will either be injectable meds + IUI or IVF. A big decision. We've also been meeting/emailing/calling/researching different agencies to talk about domestic/international/embryo/foster care adoption.

I'm walking a line between feeling happy, hopeful, and excited about our options, feeling sad about not being pregnant, and feeling just plain overwhelmed! Where do we go from here? 

I'm so thankful for you all and the incredible support you have shown me on this journey! It means more than I can ever say. The clearest way God has shown me his loving kindness over the last 10 months in our fertility journey is though you, with all your comments and messages of support and solidarity. The Holy Spirit has used your fingers and keystrokes to buoy me up in my hardest moments. From my heart, I thank you for your love. You bless me. 

"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:34-35

You truly have. You are my rose among thorns. The bloom on my cactus! I love you. 


xo

32 comments:

  1. I am so sorry Jillian. You will be in my thoughts as you move forward and make some big decisions coming up.

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  2. Replies
    1. I am very grateful for your prayers! I know they are heard before the throne!

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  3. My heart aches with yours. Praying!!

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  4. We love you too, Jillian. Praying for a positive outcome <3

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  5. We love you too, Jillian. Praying for a positive outcome <3

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  6. I'm so so sorry. I wish no one had to through this. I will keep praying.

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    1. Could not have said it better. I wish the same. Thank you for your continued prayers.

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  7. thinking about you guys tonight. however this plays out there WILL be a second child added to your beautiful family, and I feel lucky to be able to witness the journey.

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    1. Blessed by your optimism Tania! I am thankful to have your cheering us on!

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  8. I KNOW you know this song, but I have listened to it multiple times and have wept as I read the lyrics. It seems to help me a bit. Not sure if music is your thing, but this song just touches my soul.

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    1. Wow thank you for posting that! I did NOT know that song!! Amazing. My husband heard me listening to it and he commented how much he liked it too. Thank you!

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    2. Oh, glad I could introduce it to you! I just love those lyrics. It's the theme song of my life these days.

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  9. Maybe a link would be nice? ;)
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFDAyyFn3WY

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  10. Just started following your blog..we've walked some of the same road, only we ended at embryo adoption! Please know that I am adding my prayers as well, for God's will to be made known to you, for peace and understanding and for you to feel His presence in your lives.

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    1. Thank you for commenting! We are researching embryo adoption. Did you blog about your journey? I'd love to hear more about your story!

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    2. I do blog...when I have a few spare minutes! If you send me your email or google account info (wewalkbyfaithandnotbysight@gmail.com) I can send you an invite. Our blog is set as a private blog at the moment as some of our immediate family members have issues with embryo adoption.

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  11. Ahhhh Jill....I'm so sorry. :(
    We are definitely praying for you and John so much! I pray that good news comes during the next cycle - whether it be a pregnancy or a deep peace in both of you with a clear decision on the direction to go.
    Massive hugs!
    xxxxx

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    1. Thank you for the massive hug! Love your prayer for us; it brings me comfort to know you are praying it. Thank you.

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  12. Aww, so sorry! Prayers for the wisdom to make the right choices for your family!

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    1. We need and cherish those prayers for wisdom. Thank you!

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  13. Oh Jill! I'm so sorry.

    I definitely don't mean to pry about finances, but have you looked into the DesignRX First Steps program? I don't have IF coverage through my insurance, and it has made my Injects+IUI cycles with Dr. Colbert incredibly reasonable. I was on a high dose of follistim, and my entire cycle is costing us less than $2,000 (my u/s are covered by my blood draws are not).

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    1. Becky thank you for sharing! You are not prying. Our insurance is awful for this stuff and covers essentially nothing. I am going to look into that program right now!

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  14. Longing for a child we have never held and loving him so deeply is a great mystery to me. Sometimes it makes the journey so unbearable, doesn't it? No matter what you decide to do, I am praying for peace and for trust. I pray God gives you wisdom as you research different options. Blessings!

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  15. I just wanted to let you know what an encouragement you have been to me! My husband and I are in the process of adopting through foster care after 3 years of unexplained infertility. Reading your blog has validated a lot of the thoughts and feelings I have had through the process. Thank you for what you do.

    -Mallory

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  16. I STILL PRAY WISH AND TRUST IN YOUR FUTURE.YOU ARE A GREAT WOMEN AND IT WILL ALWAYS BE.I TRUST IN GOD FOR YOU.GOD BLESS YOU.JOYCE88

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  17. I'm sorry that it has been another disappointing cycle. I'm not sure if you know of this blog http://natashametzler.com/ I stumbled upon it recently and she also blogs about infertility among other things. I hope it might encourage you as go forward in your journey.

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  18. Continuing to hold you in light and think of you. Em

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