Sadly our first IUI did not succeed.
Aside from the initial few hours of anguish, I am doing okay. I am disappointed, but I don't feel hopeless. I am sad, but I'm not devastated. I don't have a sense that it will happen, but I don't feel like giving up either.
When I was a pre-teen, my friends Steph, Heather, and I went to a big amusement park called Canada's Wonderland. Steph's older brother Brad drove us with his friend. When we were all wrist-banded up inside the park, Brad gathered us around, giving us the instructions to stay safe and meet him back here at such-and-such a time. With a bite of sarcasm that only brothers can get away with, he walked away and called out, "And if you get lost just remember: YOU ARE IN CANADA'S WONDERLAND!"
That's a little like how I feel right now. Lost, but not lost. I know I'm in Infertility World. I know I'm headed for the... baby ride? Okay this metaphor is breaking down... I know where I'm trying to go, but I don't know exactly how to get there or how long it's going to take before I figure out how to get there. So I'm feeling lost, but... not lost.
I'm going in for another ultrasound tomorrow to check that "probably nothing" cyst they saw on my last two ultrasounds. Maybe that will give us more direction.
Either way, we are gearing up for another try.
Incidentally, today my mom called me in tears to tell me that her friend who has been trying to conceive for 7 years is 12 weeks pregnant. Amazing!