The HSG

It wasn't terrible. One of you wrote me and relayed the words of your doctor who said there is some woman out there on the internet who had a bad experience with her HSG and is terrifying the rest of us.

I think that's probably true and to her I would like to say STAY OFF THE INTERNET, LADY! From now on we are only allowed to post good stories about scary medical procedures. Especially ones involving uteruses. (Uteri?)

It was a lot of waiting which was the worst part, although while I was waiting I got a text from my friend Sara who was praying for me as I prepared for the procedure and that made me feel comforted and loved. I am learning a lot about the gifts of vulnerability and sharing my fears with my friends through this process. Infertility with > infertility without.

waiting, waiting, waiting... 

After about 45 minutes of waiting the most chipper young nurse took me to the changing room and gave me two of those hospital gowns to put on: one frontwards and one backwards "so you're totally covered okay!?" Okay. At that point I had a flash back to my Russian chest x-ray where they had me undress on the top-half right next to the unlocked, opened-to-the-waiting-area, door of the radiology room while the technicians looked on from their glass enclosure.

I like American hospitals better.

The light in the dressing room was burned out, but I did manage take this semi-dark nervous face picture because you know I was thinking about all y'all as I was getting ready.

double hospital gown over collard oxford shirt. good look for me. 

Next I met nurse Lisa #1 who took me to the x-ray room and nurse Lisa #2 from our fertility clinic and Bill The Voice who was probably a real person, but I only met him via positioning instruction over the intercom as I lay in "pelvic exam position," so I'm not entirely sure.

Both Lisas stayed in the room during the procedure: one to administer the iodine dye and one just sort of hung out by my head and asked me how I was doing.

Actually those were their secondary jobs; their primary jobs were to listen to me keep my mind off the procedure by listening to me tell them in one impressively long run-on sentence all about my life.

Lisa #2, "So are you going to work after this?"

*speculum*

Me, "Well I'm a stay-at-home mom so yes and no!"

*betadine*

Lisa, "So yes you're going to be working hard after this! *laughs* Okay I'm putting the catheter in; you'll feel a slight pinch.... how many kids do you have?"

Me: *feeling the pinch* "WellihavealittleboynamedArieandhe'sthreeyearsoldandweadoptedhimfrommoscowlastfallsohe'sbeenhomeabout9monthsnowanddoinggreatijustlovebeingamometcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetc."

Then Lisa #1 and #2 oooohhhhh'd an excessive amount over my story (to make me feel less ridiculous, I'm sure), Lisa #2 injected the iodine dye for what felt like all of three seconds, the x-ray machine made a noise, Bill The Voice asked, "Anything else?", Lisa #2 said, "no," and it was done!

I had cramping during the short-lived dye portion of the procedure, but as soon as that was over I felt perfectly normal again. What a relief.

The Lisas showed me the pictures of my baby-maker and I showed them pictures of my baby (super cool x-ray machine and uterus pictures Lisas. Now let me show you this iphone I have here and OH LOOK AT THIS PICTURE OF MY CHILD!! HOW CUTE IS HE?!)

My uterus and tubes are perfectly clear.

And they thought Arie was perfectly adorable.

:-D

I'm so lucky to have friends who care about my fallopian tubes. 

Next up: an ultrasound to check out my potentially "snookering ovaries" and one more round of blood work. Then hopefully, a plan and... a baby.

To all my sisters getting ready for their HSGs: You can do hard things. And this one isn't even that hard.

;-)

xo