Mother's Day

I have to admit that it was hard for me to fully live into the bliss of my motherhood on Sunday because I have not forgotten how painful that day was for me; the reality that the day was still bringing with it grief for so many women was not lost on me. I think that's okay though. I try not to put pressure on myself to experience something that I think I should be experiencing. True joy isn't pretending, is it? I think we find true joy when we open our hearts to the reality we find ourselves in and just simply ask God to reveal himself there.

Strangely enough, on Sunday God revealed himself to me as I pulled up two pairs of underwear over my little boy's bum.

He's potty training- Arie, that is- and we were 4 days in on Sunday. I waited until he was good and ready so it hasn't been that hard but we've had our share of accidents and I'll tell you it is nothing short of pure frustration when your kid is "going to the bathroom" while he's telling you that NO, HE DOES NOT HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM. 

I don't know what I hate more- the defiance or the laundry. Probably a tie.

Well, I have three pairs of extra thick potty training underwear which I like for him to wear "out" so that if he has an accident say... at church- while the pee will still require a change of pants, it won't make a puddle on the plush cushioned chair beneath him.

As we got ready for church on Mother's day I found I only had one clean pair of the thick undies left. They were decorated with tiny pale yellow turtles and therein lay the problem. In Arie's mind those tiny yellow turtles just could not compare to the big bold swinging monkeys that adorned the other clean pair of underwear in his drawer. The other thin, non-absorbent, pee goes right through 'em without so much as a hesitation, pair of undies.

As Arie sat grumpily on the toilet no amount of Oh look at these yellow turtles! You love turtles! Just like the ones at the library! How cool are these??? could convince my little man. Instead he grew increasingly agitated, insisting louder and louder to his apparently deaf mama that turtle underwear was not happening. Thankfully it was a cool day outside and the bathroom window was closed, otherwise my neighbours would have started their sunday with a rousing rendition of, "NO TUTAS MAMA!!! MONKEEEYS!!! NO TUTAS!!"

So in true moment of motherhood brilliance, I told my little man that boy was he lucky because he was going to wear TWO PAIR OF UNDERWEAR TODAY!!

Worked like a charm. Monkey undies on top.

As I was pulling up the double pair of underwear on my little man, his arms wrapped around my neck for stability, I was hit with an overwhelming sense of gratitude. The LORD's voice steady in my heart, reminding me that last year on this day I was crying for this little boy and now here I was pulling up his underwear.

That was my Mother's Day joy: a reminder that God has granted me the desire of my heart and that my little blessing is here with me, making laundry and peeing on my floor. I'm not saying I'm going to start rejoicing in those motherhood messes, but I'm going to try and remember to ask God to show himself, even there.



  1. Joelle5/13/2013

    Love this. I love all your stories, but being a mama that has potty learned 2 boys. It holds a special place in my heart.

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  3. Jillian, I have been reading your blog posts for quite a while now and am encouraged by each one! We haven't yet announced to all the world, but my husband and I are pursuing the adoption of a toddler as well... reading this particular post made me laugh and cry and ache and rejoice - all at the same time. Thank you for sharing your adoption journey so that other "Mamas to be" can see hope and reality in the words that you write! May His grace and peace rest ever more on you and your family! :)


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