One week from tomorrow we should hear about our court date. Still hoping for late September or early October. We were originally expecting to hear about our court date by Friday (2 days from now), but in the adoption world things almost always go slower than expected. I have my hopes up for a late September court date but I am trying to prepare myself for early October. It will happen when it happens, right? Right. I'll keep telling myself that.
Missing our little man a lot these days.
When we started this process, we anticipated making two trips to bring him home. Since we began our adoption journey 11 months ago, things have changed in Russia and we now must make three trips to bring him home. I will never forget what it was like for John and I to read that email in December and try to come to terms with having to make three trips instead of two. It was a stretch just for us to wrap our minds around making two trips. Three seemed impossible.
But our caseworker at our placing agency ended her email saying, "We all know that parents who adopt from Russia are not “sissies” and those who want to bring these children home will still find a way to do it."
That's right. I ain't no sissy. I will find a way to bring him home.
Thankfully, the additional trip did not change our mind about the adoption. We made the decision 11 months ago that we were going to pursue this adoption with everything we had in us and we haven't looked back.
We are not deterred. But. But I am getting tired and that third trip has been staring me down something fierce lately. Since we found out about the third trip last December I have been praying that somehow we'd get an exception- an exemption- from the new rule. That the 35 day "waiting period" between our court date and the time when we can bring him home would be waved. I'm taking a note from King David who begged, pleaded, fasted, and prayed for his ill son until there was no more hope. When his son died, he got up, ate something, and moved forward. I'm going to be praying for miraculous exception from the waiting period and that third trip until it happens or until there is no more hope. And then I'm going to get up and move forward in the strength of the Lord. Like David.
The second trip is the most nerve wracking- the one with the court date in it and that life changing "dah" or "nyet" that will either make us parents or not. That's the scary one. But it's the third trip that's going to be the draining one. The one that will make us survive 35 days of being parents without a child in our arms. 35 days of recovering from the emotional exhaustion of trip number two and drawing from what I'm sure will be near-empty wells to gather the energy to bring our little man home. 35 days of my son living in an institution instead of a home. I just want to hear the "dah" and bring my little boy home. Right away.
That third trip stares me right in the face and I look into the face of God. He will provide; of this I am sure. I pray he provides by making three trips into two. I know he will provide the strength we need to come home and go back again if that's what he allows to happen.
Praying for a miracle; it's a strange thing. It's walking the line of faith in the thing you are asking for and faith in a God who might not provide it. It's asking and begging with the full force of your conviction and yet leaving space for an answer you'd rather not hear. It's trusting that your prayers will be answered even if they're not.
Anything you ask for you will receive,
and yet
Do not put the Lord your God to the test.
Something of a paradox, if you ask me. I think David lived in it with perfect wisdom.
I'll be here, praying for a miraculous exception until he's home or until we're on that second flight back without him. Either way, the Lord provides. Answers, miracles, hope... he gives and he takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.
xo
Missing our little man a lot these days.
When we started this process, we anticipated making two trips to bring him home. Since we began our adoption journey 11 months ago, things have changed in Russia and we now must make three trips to bring him home. I will never forget what it was like for John and I to read that email in December and try to come to terms with having to make three trips instead of two. It was a stretch just for us to wrap our minds around making two trips. Three seemed impossible.
But our caseworker at our placing agency ended her email saying, "We all know that parents who adopt from Russia are not “sissies” and those who want to bring these children home will still find a way to do it."
That's right. I ain't no sissy. I will find a way to bring him home.
Thankfully, the additional trip did not change our mind about the adoption. We made the decision 11 months ago that we were going to pursue this adoption with everything we had in us and we haven't looked back.
We are not deterred. But. But I am getting tired and that third trip has been staring me down something fierce lately. Since we found out about the third trip last December I have been praying that somehow we'd get an exception- an exemption- from the new rule. That the 35 day "waiting period" between our court date and the time when we can bring him home would be waved. I'm taking a note from King David who begged, pleaded, fasted, and prayed for his ill son until there was no more hope. When his son died, he got up, ate something, and moved forward. I'm going to be praying for miraculous exception from the waiting period and that third trip until it happens or until there is no more hope. And then I'm going to get up and move forward in the strength of the Lord. Like David.
The second trip is the most nerve wracking- the one with the court date in it and that life changing "dah" or "nyet" that will either make us parents or not. That's the scary one. But it's the third trip that's going to be the draining one. The one that will make us survive 35 days of being parents without a child in our arms. 35 days of recovering from the emotional exhaustion of trip number two and drawing from what I'm sure will be near-empty wells to gather the energy to bring our little man home. 35 days of my son living in an institution instead of a home. I just want to hear the "dah" and bring my little boy home. Right away.
That third trip stares me right in the face and I look into the face of God. He will provide; of this I am sure. I pray he provides by making three trips into two. I know he will provide the strength we need to come home and go back again if that's what he allows to happen.
Praying for a miracle; it's a strange thing. It's walking the line of faith in the thing you are asking for and faith in a God who might not provide it. It's asking and begging with the full force of your conviction and yet leaving space for an answer you'd rather not hear. It's trusting that your prayers will be answered even if they're not.
Anything you ask for you will receive,
and yet
Do not put the Lord your God to the test.
Something of a paradox, if you ask me. I think David lived in it with perfect wisdom.
I'll be here, praying for a miraculous exception until he's home or until we're on that second flight back without him. Either way, the Lord provides. Answers, miracles, hope... he gives and he takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.
xo
I love that song, Blessed be the Name.
ReplyDeleteYou are so strong to pursue this with such conviction, despite the obstacles and how difficult they are making it. I hope you get your exception. Your son is so lucky to have parents who love him so much they they are willing to go to the ends of the earth (THREE TIMES!) to bring him home.
All the best.
Thank you so much for your encouraging words! It does feel like going to the ends of the earth sometimes; but we feel like we are the luckiest parents in the world and will go there for him. :-)
DeleteI mean it when I say I'm praying for you. Ive only discovered your blog recently. Its true that adoption is not for the faint of heart like the email said. We've had 2 false starts and I know all too well what the "no" feels like and I don't want that for you. I'm asking God for stength, endurance and peace for your family, and his perfect timing as you wait to bring your son home!!! :)
ReplyDeleteLaura
Laura those prayers mean the world to me; you could not give me a better gift. It means a lot to have someone who knows what this feels like cheering for us and praying for us. Thank you Laura!
DeleteI stumbled across your blog today...I think it was the beautiful adoption photoshoot that brought me here. Your son is beautiful. I will be praying that the Lord gives you favor at each turn and that you find yourselves home with your son before you know it. May the Lord bless you as he gathers his child from across the world and sets him at home in your family.
ReplyDeleteBlessings! Kate
I was wondering why international versus US adoption?
ReplyDeleteI was wondering why you chosen overseas versus stateside adoption? We are starting the journey of adoption and still trying to decide which one would be best for us?
ReplyDelete